I remember the first time I smoked pot. I was a year out of high school and I was already drunk off Absinthe I had my friend smuggle back from Germany for me. I was relatively new to drinking at this point, but i was really hitting my stride in the world of alcohol. Anyway, I was drinking Absinthe at a friends house party and had to make my way to a friends band practice. As we were hanging around my friend John suggested we go smoke weed in his car.

Now up until this point I had been against smoking weed. I drank but I didn’t smoke. I couldn’t really tell you what my reasons were for thinking this way but I just did. My friends smoked, but I didn’t. In the recent years since me and my friends had started drinking my best friend Daniel would sometimes claim he accidentally smoked weed at parties. I didn’t really understand how that would be possible, but with a belly full of Absinthe i soon found out.

So I get led into my fried John’s car and we begin spark up a doobie. (haha doobie). I inhaled, I don’t really remember If I actually got high or just thought I did. But I was having a good time none the less. I went through all the phases, laughter, euphoria, paranoia, all that. But from that point on I was a weed smoker, it felt cool. At parties when people would step outside to smoke a bowl I was invited and felt like I was apart of the cool kids. Maybe we were the uncool kids, I dunno, but I felt cool. I loved it.

Some of the best times with my friends I’ve ever had we were just cruising around on the country back roads getting high, listening to music, and just sharing how we felt and what we were thinking. It brought me and my friends closer, we were uninhibited. It was easier to talk about things we probably never would have talked about when were high. Sometimes it wasn’t anything deep or personal, sometimes it just gave an excused to act weird and be stupid around one another and be ok with doing so. Other times it got deep and philosophical, or personal and meaningful. But it gave us an outlet to express ourselves to one another. It also was a wicked awesome hangover cure, since back then we were getting drunk like it was our fucking jobs. But more on that later.

It’s hard to remember everything that happened but all I know is that I’m left with this feeling of utter satisfaction and pleasantness.

The music, the lights, the people I met and of course my friends that I went there with. We were all in it together and I new at that moment things were never better. I’ve never been happier than when I’m on drugs and at a music festival with my friends this I know to be true. Being with my friends is amazing in and of itself but mix in the drugs and the music and It’s like living in a dream where sadness doesn’t exist, It’s a wonderful experience. A dangerously wonderful experience. I see how people get addicted to this feeling. I’m coming off of a week long tirade of nothing but good vibes and I miss it dearly, oh so dearly. I would pay any amount of money to feel like that all day every day. Some people are fortunate enough, or unfortunate enough, to be able to do that. But here I am forced to re-enter the real world and nine to five drudgery while still desperately clinging to the good vibes still coursing through my veins. It’s a hard realization that I can’t live in that dream forever but one that I suppose i must confront.

Drugs are bad.

That is what I was told. Drugs are bad, and you should never do drugs. But the mantra that kept playing in my head over and over again while I was in this heaven on earth was, whoever said “drugs are bad” was an idiot. Drugs make you feel things, good things. Drugs make you honest and caring. I’ve never felt so much love for my friends and complete strangers than when I was on drugs. It was never a feeling of I’m here to party and don’t get in my way. All I could think about was here are the people I love most in the world and I’m so lucky to be experiencing this with them and I’ll do everything in my heart to make sure they know I love them and care for them.

Granted we did get separated from time to time, and we each had our own little solo adventures we went on but we always reconvened as a team and went on to our next adventure. Never did I feel alone because I knew everyone I was there with were looking out for me and I them. We were (are) a team and It’s amazing and I love it. Even the strangers I met there were the most caring and inspiring people I’ve ever met. If you looked scared or lost someone was bound to come up and give you a hug and help you out if you needed it. Everyone seemed like one giant family there and not once did I ever feel scared or alone or in danger. Every face was a kind one, and every face was a familiar one. It really is a truly amazing experience and I never would have experienced any of this if I hadn’t started taking drugs. This is a fact. Drugs are not bad, drugs saved my life and I want to tell you how.